The Object of My Child's Affection

Every parent's had it happen to them; you're on the way out, and your little one is keeping you back hunting for his favorite teddy bear. Or your seven month old will not stop fussing because her binkie has fallen out of her mouth. As a caretaker you know how draining a comfort item can be in your life. On the other hand, to a young child the lack of his old, worn out blankie is what will feel frustrating. Comfort items are just what they sound like, and are a healthy, essential part of being a child.

By the time the majority of children reach 1 year old, they've already turned to a security item they want right by them always. In children under age one, the child's thumb or even a binkie will typically work nicely to relieve and calm them when they are upset. As your little one becomes a toddler, they look for something a little bit more physically comforting such as an old stuffed animal or blanket. It's believed that the soft texture of these items is one of the reasons for the comforting effect they seem to have on children. Toddlers will usually rub a blanket on their arm or face or pet a stuffed animal to find comfort.

Another soothing feature your toddler may find with a comfort item is the fact that it reminds them of you as their parent. The material of a blanket rubbed on their cheek could remind him or her of your soft skin or clothing when being rocked or embraced by you. Or perhaps the teddy bear has always been a part of their naptime or sleep routine you and your child have developed. Once again, the association of you calming your child or making him or her feel safe is what causes the connection to these supposedly inanimate objects. Now and again a young child makes security objects out of less traditional objects. Anything from a toy truck to a piece of clothing. Even though this type of bond may be less noticeable, there is usually some emotional attachment the child has made to get security or comfort from the object.

However irritating it is for you to handle a child's continual longing for their blankie or teddy bear, it is important to remember that this phase of their childhood is both healthy and important. The world is a uncertain place to little kids, particularly as they advance to their first birthday. It is in these early years that children suffer from separation anxiety because they're more likely to find themselves separated from you resulting from playgroup, daycare, or even by their own choice as they are physically more able to explore their surroundings. Through a comfort item, your child is learning to self-soothe when you aren't there and as they begin their independence. Think of it as a short term assistant to help them get through this transition.

It usually isn't until around age 3 or 4 that she or he will start to regulate and control their feelings and emotions and do not need to rely on a comfort item for comfort, according to Jane Kostelc, a child-development expert. It's also at this age that dragging a worn blankie may seem less acceptable by their friends and peers. Who knew our children had to worry about peer pressure at such a young age? At any rate, it's perhaps best to observe this phase as the milestone that it is. Doing so will likely foster their development and growth. something that is certainly worthy of short term frustration.